Make A Statement

by Amanda Martin

What’s your life or family statement?

What’s that you say? Life or family statement? Let me explain.

When I got pregnant with our first child, Jon, my mind would race with all the things I wanted for him. Being a planner and a list maker, some might even say a control freak, I made a list. Everything I could think of regarding raising a child went on it. I took those thoughts and made a parenting statement. There are so many different opinions and pressures when it comes to parenting (or anything for that matter) that it becomes easy to forget what you set out to accomplish.

As any parent will tell you, parenting is HARD! Even when you are doing your best you feel like you are missing a step. When I felt like I was stumbling or lost (which was a lot), I would go back to my parenting statement. Were my choices reflecting the statement? If not, I knew that it was time to switch things up. For someone (not to keep you guessing, it was me) who was fighting post-partum depression (more on that later), it was my greatest support. So why did it take us so long to make a family statement or even have it occur to us make one?

It all became clear shortly after our second son, Sawyer, was born. I had begun a yoga practice which would end in Shavasana (for you non-yogis that’s a lying flat on your back relaxation pose) and it was a ‘no duh’ moment. I almost hate it when that happens. How could I have missed it? Needless to say, I made my husband Jeff sit down with me and make a list. What are the things we are waiting for to line up so we can have the life we want? What were those things? Just to give an example of some of the things on our list: more family time; basically living outdoors; less stress; clean eating (I ended up going vegetarian); less work hours; meditation; yoga; reading; travel; peaceful parenting; open communication between ourselves and our children; spirituality; happy souls; less possessions; and let’s not forget coffee!

Were we living that life? That was a big NO. In making our list, we also realized what we didn’t want, such as: a life chasing possessions; long work hours; basically everything we were doing to cut this list short. Saying that you are going to make a life change is one thing, going about it is quite another. Looking at all the changes was off-putting and overwhelming. We decided that one small step at a time would be our best bet in achieving what we were aiming for. Jeff got a new job where he could make his own hours and work from home, able to take breaks when I needed to make lunch or needed some other help with the kids. We downsized our bills to only the bare necessities. Jeff’s dad, Jim, graciously opened his home to us and invited us to make it ours. Every day we spent more and more time outdoors. We bought camping equipment so that on a whim we can pick up and head out. We adopted a puppy to encourage us to get out and be active. We schedule yoga, meditation, and karate weekly like any other appointment we can’t miss, making sure that we make that time for them.

Hourly we struggled, but as the days passed on and we got closer and closer to living our statement we noticed that we had become more pleasant. Less stressed out. Happier. More fulfilled.

Again, we are not saying that we are perfect or have it all figured out. We are just people who have made choices that we hope change us for the better.

Suggestion:

Make a list
Make a statement
Look at your cons list
Cross the cons/negativity out
Take steps to honor your statement
Live the life you want

It’s so easy to make plans for some far off time. What is hard is realizing that you can be changing your today to fit the lifestyle you want. Sure, it may take a million little steps just to get started, but every step, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction. Change is scary but once you make it through it is so rewarding, you’ll never want to go back.